Category - Wear It!

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A List of Things Men Must Know
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Time for Some New Shoes: Get Your Kicks!
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Fix your face!
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Your New Happy Hour Shirt
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Do shoes make the man? Heck, yes!

A List of Things Men Must Know

 Things Men Must Know

A List of Things Men Must Know

I generally dislike obligatory lists of lists – but there is a need here to have a core description of gentlemanly things all men must know.  This really isn’t a list, just thoughts disguised as a list.   Listen, you don’t have to believe me, go look at anybody that is successful or tall or who is able to communicate with women; they have a rudimentary grasp on these things.    No list is complete, this one is not either so please sit back,  gloss this over, and help me add to it.

Sartorial Splendor

Every man needs to know how to iron a shirt and tie a tie.  This is listed first because it is a mandatory item.  The dry cleaner is always anhow to tie a tie option when you need a pressed look.  It will cost a couple bucks and planning is required.  What if you end up in a hotel with a wrinkled shirt or at home preparing for a last minute meeting?  Get out the iron and fix that shirt.  The tie is just as important.  If you have a zipper tie or a clip on tie that is just fine, if you are ten.  It is not hard to learn and is a staple of your wardrobe (once I figure out how, I will add video evidence).  The other simple thing that is a must are well polished shoes.  Again I will beg off the details on how to polish them, but you can be sure I will cover that topic soon.

Epicurean Delight

Dude needs to cook.  This blog littered with recipes that are easy and can make you look suave.  Guys that cook are sexy, that martiniis the word on the street.  Breakfast should be more than eggs and bacon.  An omelet is so easy and it has great curb appeal.  Manage the grill, cook a steak, make any food that does not come in a can or a box.  The bottom line is a cooking class may be in your best interest.  I am a Midwest guy, raised on casserole (or as we simple folk call it, hot dish).  Hot Dish will do in a pinch, much like spaghetti or chili, any dolt can make it.  Get to a couple go-to meals and you will be ahead of the game.

This category includes some drinks.  We have already discussed the whiskey play.  You also need to know how to make a martini.  The “drink it” section will be your friend , I promise.  In the mean time a classic shaken martini with olives is the rule to live by.  Splurge on the vodka for this one (2 oz. Ketel One mixed with 1/2 oz. dry vermouth shaken over ice poured into chilled glass with two olives).  There is a direct correlation between the quality of the Vodka and the suffering of the people who make it.  Swarthy Polish people make Belvedere, they have suffered and the Vodka is righteous.  For the same reason I generally avoid Grey Goose, the French, come on.  You can use any crap in a Bloody Mary or a Screwdriver because the mix is so strong, but the Martini gives you no where to hide.  That reminds me, Bloody Mary recipes are coming!

Train The Brain

It may seem like a small thing but you need to get your mind around communication.  Every man needs to be able to have a conversation with a child.  It is a great exercise in joy and patience to talk to children on their level.  Nothing moves the fairer sex more than seeing a man and a young one in a deep conversation.  Don’t do it to just look good, do it because it is tonic for your soul.  On that same bent, have a book handy to read.  You can use the Kindle, an app on your phone, or even read an old-fashioned paper book.  This can help you build that organ you need to use more, the brain.  Not just the brain stem that demands food, sleep, sex and wants you to fight.  It builds the advanced frontal lobes.  It helps you communicate with that delicate child.

Get Past Your Past

If you ever want to be a whole person you will have to eventually realize that you can neither ignore your past nor can you change it.  It is stuff you did.  Sure you can spin it and justify your behavior but, eventually you have to face the fact, it is the path you took.  Every man needs to respect that past and grow from it.  Even if that past is littered with figurative, or literal, skeletons you must reflect and grow.  I realize this is along way from getting a good knot in a tie but, that tie looks better on a self-aware neck.  I have said it before and I will say it again – every man needs to talk to someone smarter than them about emotions.  Many of us did not even know we had emotions let alone recognize experiencing them as manly.

And Of Course

•travel   •get a firm handshake   •listen to classical music (not The Rolling Stones – Mozart)   •Have ten different music mixes on your Spotify   •volunteer for something   •go to the gym (you will thank me)   •look people in the eye   •be a gentleman (especially with women)   •put your phone away when you are engaged with someone   •build a fire  •do something outdoors  •laugh   •learn to tell a joke   •no really laugh (don’t take yourself so seriously)  •and find a passion  (scratch and claw and dig to find something that moves you) Perhaps the list should just be that last bullet point.  Everything else will become a detail if you find your passion. That is all for now Let’s Go!

Time for Some New Shoes: Get Your Kicks!

cool shoe

You should buy these shoes

It’s Friday.. and that means it is time to get your fashion fix.  At the risk of seeming like I have a foot fetish, let’s grab a pair of shoes,  I’m thinking these Bostonian Men’s Pavillion Oxford are the perfect fit.

Three Tips for Buying Shoes

TIP NUMBER ONE:  Stay on a budget but don’t be dumb about it

Shoes are not a place to go total bottom dollar.  You can get some shoes that look awesome on the sale rack at Marshall’s only to have sore feet and a bill for new shoes in a few months.  Find a brand name you have heard of, a brand name of a company that actually MAKES SHOES.  I saw some Van Heusen shoes that looked nice, but they probably don’t even make them.  Even worse, shoes made by Apt 9?  That sounds more like a place you would see the Law And Order team searching for the murderer!  You are going to wear them a lot so be frugal but be savvy.  The shoes I have listed above are ones I just ordered.  About $80.00 fetched me some Bostonian Oxfords.  This is a brand that has a great reputation and I have bought them many times in the past.

TIP NUMBER TWO:  Get a versatile shoe

If you’re on a budget and need to buy things like food, Internet, and green fees make sure one shoe can do the work of two.  You have already bought a better quality shoe so you should get greater wear.  This shoe will look great with your Khakis at work and will dress up your cool jeans after work.  There are different shades, but the darker brown will be more functional if you need to go with a suit and tie at some point.  This little number is dressy and casual.  It is your little black dress, Mister.  Later, as budget and creativity allows, start adding shoes with different styles, tints, hues, and funk.  For now, get a good utility pair.

TIP NUMBER THREE:  Take care of them

I will have a post coming soon where I enlist a shoe care expert to give the details on what polish, cream, brush, and processes to make those puppies both last and look smashing.  A few bucks worth of TLC can save you looking ratty and can save your beer money.  We will add to this tip in a future post since it needs a fair amount to time dedicated to it.

There it is, do something about it…

Let’s Go!

 

Fix your face!

Facial Hair GuyAll day, every day on every social media platform, and somewhere on every website, there are unkept men talking about women and focusing on every detail.  We expect women to look perfect for us in all aspects, but don’t demand the same of ourselves.  GO GET A MIRROR. Don’t get me rolling on the clowns that used to have the “no fat chicks” bumper sticker.  Most would be lucky if the female that would actually spend time with him didn’t live in the barn!

Here comes a rant:  We watch the red carpet interview at the Oscars where brilliant, beautiful women are whittled down to who they are wearing.  Endless magazines and talk shows rate these women as “10 Best” and “10 Worst” without a single mention of their body of work – just the body.   Don’t misunderstand.  As a big fan of the body, I am just certain this is quite #sexist.  Here is the rub: Some knuckle-dragging sasquatch of a man lumbers up and we ask him about his philosophy on life.  We don’t even notice his bushy-ass gross eyebrows or ear hair that is just a smidge longer than the chest hair curling up from under his collar.  WTF.  How about who he is wearing?  …Duck-frickin’ Dynasty?

DON’T BE THAT GUY!  You are not a Hollywood heart-throb.   You are plumber, a sales rep, a dentist, a rodeo clown and hopefully much more evolved than that.  This is all part of having your game.

Go and invest a few bucks in a detail trimmer to at least fix the face.  It is not hard.  Eyebrows, beard, neck, ears, nose.  Do it in that order for reasons that should be obvious.

Some tips to help you:

  • Use the little tiny comb that comes with it to ensure you don’t slip, and take a chunk out of your eyebrows
  •  If you have fears, have a stylist do it the first time and then you will have a template
  •  If you keep a little stubble (or even a manly beard) use the detail trimmer around your lips to catch the strays
  • Clean rogue hairs regardless of location: The long one on the cheek, neck nonsense, or even that mullet growing out of your ears
  • Do the nose hairs last, and don’t be gross — clean it when you are done

Wahl razorThis is all part of the mix, guys.  Women are watching you as much as you watch them– and the attention to detail is critical.  They notice, trust me.  They notice.  So your choice is leave your face a grizzled mess and live a desperate life of can cheese and crackers or… eat a giant T-Bone with your manly hands as women swoon – swoon I sayYou will have to beat them off with a stick.

Look:  You can even buy this Wahl 5545-400 Wahl Ear Nose & Brow – 3 In 1 Trimmer for about $10.00 without even having to go to the mall!

Let’s Go!

Your New Happy Hour Shirt

Happy Hour Shirt

Try this on for size

It’s time to go to Happy Hour.  I beg you to not look like a tool, please?  You need a cool happy hour shirt.  This should be all I need to write, but I hear the clamoring for details.  Ok, ok…here is a good rule of thumb:  If any female, any female (I don’t care if it’s your mom – insert joke here) compliments the shirt, you are heading the right way.

A couple key things to consider when you are getting dressed:

Ditch the t-shirt.  If are thinking a trying to match your baseball cap, you should stay home.  You need to try a little bit.

Let’s grab a shirt with buttons, run a comb through your hair and be somebody.  Here’s a shirt I think is cool and REASONABLY PRICED.  You don’t have to break the bank to look like you have a checking account at the bank.

Iron the shirt – I’m not gonna go into that now – another post is coming for those who are challenged in that area.

Start with a simple step, get a shirt.  You can purchase this Tom’s Ware Casual Shirt on Amazon for less than $30.00 so you have money left to buy a drink.   Cheers!

Do shoes make the man? Heck, yes!

Do shoes make the man?  Shoes and SocksDo shoes make the man?

Be honest.  No really.  BE HONEST.   You look at people who rock differently than you look at slobs.  I can hear the naysayers now, “But it’s what is on the inside that matters!”  Bullshit.  Don’t tell me you would go to The Avengers if the cast was made up of 4 fat dudes in sweat pants and a woman with crazy eyes who uses the moped to travel.   We totally dig people with swagger.  Swagger is a freaking cool-ass thing.  Swagger rocks and swagger comes in all sorts of forms.

Let’s break this down into one little chunk for brevity.  I had a man-crush on a dude’s shoes and socks at a meeting the other day.  Straight-up teenage vibe, you know, like a little girl watching that stupid vampire series.  No, I don’t have a poster of his feet.  However, I did take the picture when he wasn’t looking, sneaky style.  (Full disclosure: I eventually told him so the photographic evidence of his footwear has been given the full approval to publish.  He wasn’t even troubled because HE KNEW he was awesome.)

So does it matter.  Heck yes, it matters!  Shoes do make the man.  Studies even back this up. A study conducted by Researchers at the University of Kansas back me up. Respondents accurately judged characteristics such as age, income, and political affiliation of an unknown person, based solely (pun intended!) on his shoes.  I kid you not.  I feel validated.

Your kick-ass shoes give you credibility.  They are an indication of your self-respect. If I am listening to someone yammer on about a topic they love and they have stupid shoes, I tune out.  To me, shoes are an easy way to say he cares.  You don’t have be rolling in cash to look good.   Just care.  Regardless on income, any guy can consciously choose to keep them polished and pick out some cool socks.  You cannot mail this one in.  Trust me when I tell you shoes are critical.

I am not totally in the dark.  If he was an idiot and spit while he talked and the shoes were cool he would also lack credibility.  I am a fan of language, ties, smooth conversation (conversation is sexy), posture and rock-hard abs.  But the shoes are the foundation.  Take that first step, fellas.

Next week we talk about your damn creepy eyebrows.

Let’s Go!

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