Author - Peter Moeller

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Beer glassware (101) by Peter Moeller
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3 Things To Consider When Ordering Your Beer

Beer glassware (101) by Peter Moeller

beer glasses

I was sitting in a beautiful 19th hole the other day.  Unfortunately, for the celebration of life of a friend, rather than because I had just gotten my ass whooped, on literally one of the nicest golf courses in the world.  I ordered a Hopalicious on tap, and a good friend/bartender poured my beer in a frosted glass.  On my second beer, I asked her to use the same glass.  She said “Are you sure ….you don’t want a frosted glass?”.  I graciously and respectfully declined(she is an old school pro to the peak of perfection), and enlightened her as to why frosted glasses are as good an idea as a “jump to conclusions mat”.  The exchange prompted me to share some tips on glassware usage, etiquette, and whatever else I see fit to relate to the topic.

Colder Isn’t Always Better

A beer glass should be around the same temperature as the aiming juice you pour in it.  Have you ever been in a solid beer joint and seen the little sprayers bartenders rinse pints with right before they pour you one?  Those gadgets serve two purposes.  They rinse your glass one final time, and they chill it to the same temperature as the beer about to be held.   Most often the chill they water with the same glycol system that chills the beer ensuring they are within a few degrees of each other.  That’s why they exist….it’s a real thing…

 It is cruel to the beer and your taste buds

Shocking your beer is generally a poor idea. Frosted glasses turn your beer into a beer slushy.  Just like what happened to my Hopalicious.  I had thoughts of Dairy Queen, and an under-privileged Eskimo’s nut sack… The freezing cold caused the flavors to shut down in every ingredient in the beer.  Grains, hops, and yeast esters, all misrepresented…It also separated some of the beer from the alcohol, which causes other significant flavor changes.

Using a room temperature glass is a better plan. The “beer vs. glass” temperature battle will end quickly enough, with minor damage inflicted on the innocent bystanders known as flavors and aromas.  At home you can be an o.c.d. snob like me, and rinse your glass in cold water for a second.  Don’t bug your bartender with such petty things.  Believe me, they have better things to do;  like play Trivia Crack, or pour MY beer, or make some ass-clown a Golden Cadillac.

You Still Have Rights

The exception to not bothering your bartender about your glassware, is if it is not sufficiently and properly cleaned.  This is a very important aspect of your beer vessel, and nobody should have to drink from a dirty glass. If you can physically see dirt and grime in your grail, you’re probably drinking in a shithole, and you pay for sex.

Lipstick around the rim, chemical smells, and residue are more common, but are the bar’s problem, not yours. Ask Dirty Beer Glassthem to fix it. Beer should be enjoyed, not tolerated. Lipstick happens. It’s like an eyelash in your food. People aren’t perfect, and sometimes some lipstick marks get past the best of us. The chemical smell is usually sanitizer, and a good rinse will eliminate it. Residue can be a little trickier. The easiest way to spot it is to look at your carbonation bubbles. What should happen, is tiny little bubbles cruise in streams from the bottom to the top throughout the beer, some sliding effortlessly along the sides of the glass to be released into the head of the nectar. When residue is left on the glass, large carbonation bubbles will form on it, and make your glass look super funky…… This pic is a good example….Get a new beer!

 

peter moellerAbout The Author:

Pete goes all in as he defends his title as beer master.  His beer knowledge is only rivaled by his skills in the boudoir.  We all know he is from Wisconsin so I suggest y’all better listen.  When he is not terrorizing sheep he is drinking, drinking beer and thinking about how to make your life better.  God bless you Peter…

 

 

 

3 Things To Consider When Ordering Your Beer

beer

 

I often hear something like ” Lets go to 1234 Fake Bar, they have 100 beers on their bottle list!”…. Awesome…..I’m all for variety, selection, and the like. 100 bottles on your beer list is a feat that takes a lot of saying yes to your distributors as a buyer for an establishment . It begs the question though… How closely is this list being monitored? You see, BEER DOESN’T LAST FOREVER. Hops fade faster than batteries from the dollar store. Beer actually gets old pretty quickly. A person needs to know how to navigate their way through a list that size, because there are land mines everywhere. These are thoughts that should enter your mind when selecting:

Top Three things to consider

#1 what is the draft situation?

In this beautiful resurrection of great beer these days, it flows like wine….only on tap. Tap beer is generally the way to go unless you have access to a solid cellar.  Kegs are the best known keepers of beers, and so are widely used. Cans are mini-kegs, hence the movement you see in craft beer toward canning. Bottles however, aside from keeping the beer centrally located, don’t do it a ton of favors. They allow light to penetrate and break the beer down. Particularly non-brown bottles. Also, the seals in the caps can break down over time and allow for quicker oxidation. Particularly twist-offs. Light and oxidation are the two biggest enemies of bottled beer.

#2 Don’t order hoppy beers.

I’ve already touched on this, but there is a reason Stone Brewing made an IPA called “Enjoy By” IPA. Hops fade. Quickly. Seriously. Get your IPAs on tap, or order one that’s newer to the market. There are a tiny few breweries who claim their triple IPA ages well, and a few do. The hop profile fades, but it is so big that it really just changes and mellows. These are unicorns, though. 99% of all “hoppy” beers should be consumed as soon as possible. From the second they are born.

#3 Beware of mean green

Green bottled import lagers are always “skunked” by the time you get your hands on them. A Heineken in Holland tastes nothing like what you are used to here. Think about the time it takes to get from the brewery to your location. This to me is good news, because I enjoy that funkiness from time to time, and at least you know what your in for.

Pick one already….no pathogens can grow in beer so it is pretty unlikely this decision will be fatal. It’s just beer.

Now don’t be a pain in the ass and start asking bartenders to read the date codes on all 100 of their bottles or anything. Just use a little discretion. Order beers that age well, or stick to seasonal brews. And don’t be so enamored with a bars ability to bring in every beer they’ve ever heard of. What really makes a great beer destination is someone who cares manicuring the list to keep it current and fresh.

peter moeller

 

About The Author:

Pete is a swaggy bitch with beer cred.  He drinks beer like most people drink buttermilk – like a lunatic.  Located in the beer capital of north America, Wisconsin, Pete is an instant expert.  When he is not raising his family he is stalking other families with the honorable purpose of helping them drink better…

Thanks Pete – we look forward to many posts to come!

 

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