I was sitting in a beautiful 19th hole the other day. Unfortunately, for the celebration of life of a friend, rather than because I had just gotten my ass whooped, on literally one of the nicest golf courses in the world. I ordered a Hopalicious on tap, and a good friend/bartender poured my beer in a frosted glass. On my second beer, I asked her to use the same glass. She said “Are you sure ….you don’t want a frosted glass?”. I graciously and respectfully declined(she is an old school pro to the peak of perfection), and enlightened her as to why frosted glasses are as good an idea as a “jump to conclusions mat”. The exchange prompted me to share some tips on glassware usage, etiquette, and whatever else I see fit to relate to the topic.
Colder Isn’t Always Better
A beer glass should be around the same temperature as the aiming juice you pour in it. Have you ever been in a solid beer joint and seen the little sprayers bartenders rinse pints with right before they pour you one? Those gadgets serve two purposes. They rinse your glass one final time, and they chill it to the same temperature as the beer about to be held. Most often the chill they water with the same glycol system that chills the beer ensuring they are within a few degrees of each other. That’s why they exist….it’s a real thing…
It is cruel to the beer and your taste buds
Shocking your beer is generally a poor idea. Frosted glasses turn your beer into a beer slushy. Just like what happened to my Hopalicious. I had thoughts of Dairy Queen, and an under-privileged Eskimo’s nut sack… The freezing cold caused the flavors to shut down in every ingredient in the beer. Grains, hops, and yeast esters, all misrepresented…It also separated some of the beer from the alcohol, which causes other significant flavor changes.
Using a room temperature glass is a better plan. The “beer vs. glass” temperature battle will end quickly enough, with minor damage inflicted on the innocent bystanders known as flavors and aromas. At home you can be an o.c.d. snob like me, and rinse your glass in cold water for a second. Don’t bug your bartender with such petty things. Believe me, they have better things to do; like play Trivia Crack, or pour MY beer, or make some ass-clown a Golden Cadillac.
You Still Have Rights
The exception to not bothering your bartender about your glassware, is if it is not sufficiently and properly cleaned. This is a very important aspect of your beer vessel, and nobody should have to drink from a dirty glass. If you can physically see dirt and grime in your grail, you’re probably drinking in a shithole, and you pay for sex.
Lipstick around the rim, chemical smells, and residue are more common, but are the bar’s problem, not yours. Ask them to fix it. Beer should be enjoyed, not tolerated. Lipstick happens. It’s like an eyelash in your food. People aren’t perfect, and sometimes some lipstick marks get past the best of us. The chemical smell is usually sanitizer, and a good rinse will eliminate it. Residue can be a little trickier. The easiest way to spot it is to look at your carbonation bubbles. What should happen, is tiny little bubbles cruise in streams from the bottom to the top throughout the beer, some sliding effortlessly along the sides of the glass to be released into the head of the nectar. When residue is left on the glass, large carbonation bubbles will form on it, and make your glass look super funky…… This pic is a good example….Get a new beer!
Pete goes all in as he defends his title as beer master. His beer knowledge is only rivaled by his skills in the boudoir. We all know he is from Wisconsin so I suggest y’all better listen. When he is not terrorizing sheep he is drinking, drinking beer and thinking about how to make your life better. God bless you Peter…