Life is a Balancing Act
So, I have this amazing conundrum in my life. We all deal with it on a variety of levels and we all see it in other people, but tend to ignore it in our own world. The issue is the delicate balance between what we want and our responsibility to others. This is universal dilemma. We want kids and want to give our lives to them, but at what cost? We get married and approach things as a team, where does the “I” fit in the world of “we”? We pay taxes for roads but hate to pay taxes. You get the idea. What about me?! It seems the older we get, the less in touch with ourselves we become. Society gets in the way.
“Dude, you are just being selfish.”
When you’re an adult, you have to drop the selfish kid act. It’s just too simplistic when you just look to meet needs, focus on what feels good, and all that crap; the greater good and what not. I agree with this, to a degree. Part of the premise of a society, or a relationship, is group values and group benefits as a method to make life better.
Maybe we need to make a society with benefits. The benefits part should be pleasurable, right? I am glad for fire trucks and roads, god bless society, but have we lost something? Have we lost the benefits? What would they be?
“Dude, you have needs just like anyone else.”
When you become a “mature” adult you don’t lose your sex drive, you don’t lose your dreams, you don’t lose that dudeness that makes you unique. So how can a society exist without individuals who fill a variety of roles and have goals and dreams? A stained glass window has thousands of little glass nubs that each have an individual role. The entire window is amazing. Without the parts there is no window, while the parts have limited value without the whole. I’m rambling. Society has rules that make the window keep out the elements while beautifully refracting sunlight. I hate all the rules.
“Dude, you are the biggest rule follower I know.”
I confess. My entire life I have been a rule follower to a fault. But now, in my 40s, I suddenly find myself faced with a strange sort of bucket list. I want to get in a fight, get a tattoo, express road rage, and even order food not on the menu. I don’t believe this is simply a midlife phase. I think it is a repressed part of me that has always been there. I realize that I will probably never get a tattoo (I have discovered they are made with needles, and that is just plain stupid). But maybe I can cross a few other, less painful, badass things off my list.
There is core need for expression that humans have, that humans need to express. It is there for all of us, we just deal with it in different time frames and on different levels. Don’t tell me you don’t have a little part of you that would move to Aruba under an assumed name and start over if you could pull it off. This is what I speak of.
Back to the original point. Damn. How do you find balance?
I don’t have an answer to this, quite frankly. I wish I did. My research has shown that republicans will blame Obama. Democrats will cite my lack of compassion. NRA guys will recommend that I buy a gun and ignore all other amendments. Artistic types will offer expression as an escape. That is the core of my blog: blend this shit, add a pinch of who knows, and eventually find the truth.
I doubt the comment section will add insight. Let’s be honest, people. Most comments are a combination of ignorance and safely anonymous vitriol. Go ahead and comment. Prove me wrong. I dare you.
So, back to the point. I am going to go to school, study legitimate resources (don’t be shocked… not Facebook or the omnipresent Google) and try to find that elusive truth. I have come to the conclusion that educated folks seem to help more that opinionated folks. Perhaps a book, perhaps a blog. Maybe a beer with strangers?
I will keep y’all posted on what transpires. Psst…. Let’s go!